Pat's Speaker Page
Info on two hilarious live presentations!
"NINE HALLMARKS OF
HIGHLY INCOMPETENT LOSERS"
A live spoken presentation based on the book
By Pat Reeder
Aside from writing comedy for the entertainment industry, I have also worked for years in corporate communications, advertising and PR. I have written, voiced and produced thousands of radio commercials and created sales training and instructional videos, employee orientation programs, executive speeches and special events for such corporations as GTE Directories, Sylvania, DLM Inc., the Lyons Group, TM Productions and Southwestern Bell. In all of it, I've specialized in using humor to hold the audience's interest while delivering a lesson or sales message.
Recently, I decided to combine my experience in corporate communications and comedy with my lifelong fascination with human mistakes: why we make mistakes, what we can learn from them, and how we can avoid them. The result is a humorous business/self-help book in the "Peter Principle" tradition, entitled Nine Hallmarks of Highly Incompetent Losers.
The book is now available in paperback, and I
perform a humorous but stealthily- informative live speech
based on it. I have been very pleased at the positive
response, including glowing reviews in the Dallas
News, the Wireless Flash, the Downtown Business News
of Dallas and the North Texas Skeptic.
I have spoken to a wide range of corporate, civic and charity groups, including the Northrup-Grummon national accountants' seminar, Las Colinas Chamber of Commerce, State Convention of the Optimists' Clubs of Texas, Haltom City Annual Awards Banquet, DFW Opex Club (retired IBM employees), UT Southwestern Medical Center, and many more. With thousands of hilarious stories in my files, I can usually customize the material to fit virtually any audience.
Testimonials for Pat Reeder
“The best presentation we’ve ever had!”
-- Ronald G. Deshong, Fort Worth Masonic Service
“Pat, thanks for speaking to our club yesterday. It was very funny and very enjoyable. You also made the presentation in a very professional manner..I have now recommended you to the Sigma Chi Alumni Association as a speaker."
-- Larry C. Williams, DFW Opex Club/Richardson Optimist
"Pat was given the challenge of livening up a room full of accountants, who were in the midst of complying with restrictive financial regulations, and getting them see the true value of their efforts 'to do things the right way, the first time.' His quick wit and 'morning talk show' speaking style had them laughing from the start. Pat expertly chose his humorous anecdotes to get to the heart of the business issue, yet spiced it up with some blunders and bloopers from everyday life.
It was very refreshing to have Pat as our luncheon
speaker and to create a high point to a rather mundane
-- George Hendrix, Northrup-Grummon
ABOUT THE HALLMARKS OF LOSERS SPEECH
Everyone agrees that mistakes are how we learn.
Unfortunately, mistakes are also how we get
fired..and go bankrupt...and end up in prison.
I believe learning from mistakes is great, as long as you learn from someone else's. So in Nine Hallmarks of Highly Incompetent Losers, I recount dozens of hilarious-but-true stories from our vast Comedy Wire files to illustrate nine basic errors which people make over and over again. These gaffes, boners and boo-boos account for about 90% of all the stories of failure and humiliation that we write about daily. They are...
2. Lose sight of the goal.
3. Don't sweat the details.
4. Don't communicate clearly.
5. Work while drunk, high or otherwise indulging your addictions.
6. Call undue attention to yourself.
7. Lose your cool.
8. Claim talents and abilities you don't really have.
9. Bend over too far backwards
Any one (or a combination) of these mistakes can result in chaos, embarrassment, and in the worst case scenarios, someone dialing 911 and alerting the media. Nobody is immune, from petty criminals with third grade educations to top government bureaucrats and major corporations, as I richly and humorously demonstrate.
For instance, ponder whether the Romanian man who tried to kill his lice by shampooing his hair with gasoline and drying it by a blazing wood stove really showed any less regard for details than the top British government scientists who studied a sample of sheep brains for four years before finally realizing it was actually a mislabeled sample of cow brains. Or ask yourself if the man who set his head on fire was using it any less than the wealthy Hungarian businessman who bought a $5 million mansion sight-unseen, only to startle guards when he tried to move into his new home: the American Embassy.
It's a healthy dose of sound advice on critical thinking wrapped in a candy-coating of constant laughter, an ideal light presentation for corporate, professional and social gatherings.
I would be happy to work with you to set a rate you'll appreciate or to customize the speech to a particular industry for an additional fee. I also waive my fee when I speak to local charity groups; and if you will let me sell autographed books afterward, I will donate the profits to worthy charities sponsored by the hosts, such as the Scottish Rite Children's Hospital.
I prefer to work in the north Texas area,
but I am willing to travel, depending on the schedule
and if you will provide expenses and/or accommodations.
To find out more, just drop me a line at Pat@comedy-wire.com.
excerpts from the book, click
I look forward to speaking to you!
A few years ago, I teamed up to write a book with my longtime pal and radio morning show partner, George Gimarc, author of the Punk Diary books, host of radio's "The Lost Tapes" and famous in Texas as "The Music Guru," one of the top collectors of sound recordings in the nation. Since we are both avid students and collectors of pop culture ephemera,
we decided to unearth a little-known and well-buried corner of celebrity trivia: records by people famous for anything other than singing. The result was Hollywood Hi-Fi: Over 100 of the Most Outrageous Celebrity Recordings of All Time.
I know what you're thinking: "An entire book about tone-deaf Hollywood actors trying to sing? WHY?" Funny you should ask! With this book, we hoped to convince the reader that it's more fun to laugh yourself limp at the donkey braying of that musical comedy girl, Bette Davis, than to listen to 45 minutes of wailing arpeggios from Mariah Carey. In this age of digital recording, when clever producers can use a host of electronic gizmos to make anyone, no matter how talent-deficient, sound like a singer, it's refreshing to see stars such as Clint Eastwood, Sylvester Stallone, Joe Pesce and Joan Rivers show themselves to be genuine, fallible human beings by egomanically insisting on recording their own unpolished singing voices, warts and all.
In most celebrity
autobiographies, these projects rate at most a quick,
embarrassed mention. We hoped to rectify that sad situation,
and in so doing, address some of the burning questions of our
time: Why did Atlantic Records, home of the Drifters, Ray
Charles, Ornette Coleman and Erroll Garner, think it was a
good idea to release a twist record by Jerry "Beaver Cleaver"
Mathers? What is there about certain TV shows (Batman,
Happy Days, Star Trek, Bonanza) that makes every cast
member think he can sing? Why do so many actors feel compelled
to record with children's choruses and cover the Rolling
Stones' "Satisfaction?" The public has a right to know!
Hollywood Hi-Fi and its companion CD on Brunswick Records received rave reviews, including write-ups in Billboard, In Style, The Star and Playboy. George and I were interviewed on Inside Edition, Day & Date and Good Morning, Texas, and one major newspaper dubbed it "the best weird book of the year!"
ABOUT THE HOLLYWOOD HI-FI SPEECH
If you are looking for an uproariously funny break-out
program or after-dinner presentation featuring some of the
greatest Hollywood stars of all time in a new and hilarious
light, then you will love our Hollywood Hi-Fi
folks in attendance at last night's banquet were still
laughing and talking about your presentation at this
morning's meeting. Your use of humor and
rapid-fire quips was just what this audience was
looking for... Thanks so much; you were excellent."
-- Jim Sargent, President
Vintage Radio & Phonograph Society
We will bring along the actual albums and sound clips of the performers for your audience to see and hear for themselves, and regale them with the ridiculous-but-true stories of how these woebegone projects came to be. Again, we have so many of these records to choose from, we are able to tailor the presentation to any audience: rock or country fans, TV or movie lovers, young or old, male or female. This program has been greeted with gales of laughter from audiences ranging from a large church women's social luncheon to a national convention of vintage radio enthusiasts.
The Hollywood Hi-Fi program can be presented by Pat Reeder or George Gimarc solo, or for maximum laughter, bring us in together as a team!
For more information
on either presentation, contact
Pat Reeder at Pat@comedy-wire.com
All material © copyright 2005-2007 by Pat
Reeder & Laura Ainsworth.