For info on Nine Hallmarks of Incompetent Losers click here
on Hollywood Hi-Fi, click here
An e-book in PDF format
& Laura Ainsworth
Both a fantastic speaker's resource and some of the finest bathroom reading in the world!
What you get in this hilarious collection of stories and jokes:
If you don't have the Adobe Acrobat
it free here
Introduction from "The Best of the Comedy Wire, Vol. 1"
By Pat Reeder and Laura Ainsworth
This chunk of text is a collection of some of the more bizarre and intriguing features culled from the first few years or so of The Comedy Wire, America's funniest, smartest and frankly snarkiest radio comedy service, written by the brilliant husband-and-wife comedy writing team of Pat Reeder and Laura Ainsworth (that's us).
Five days a week, we scour the world for the most interesting, unusual and downright flaky news. We write it up in capsule form (the "set-up," in professional jokester parlance), then attach a selection of one-line gags and humorous commentary. The finished product (five printed pages of topical comedy a day) is then faxed and E-mailed to radio DJs all over the world.
In compiling the best of The Comedy Wire, we have removed material that quickly became dated (passing political headlines, sports events, etc.), leaving only the cream of the crop: the oddest feature stories, the most unusual medical discoveries, the most incompetent criminals, the most amazing breakthroughs in Japanese toilet technology (story #623), all are here, and much more!
Plus, each story comes with an assortment of our favorite wise-ass remarks! You can chuckle over them in private, picking your favorites and trading them with your friends! Or, you can stand up in front of indulgent relatives and pretend to be Dennis Miller (Run your fingers through your hair more...Wow! That's uncanny!). Or just do what many of our friends and clients do: print out a hard copy and leave it in the bathroom, to give your houseguests something to sit and think about.
What sort of person will benefit from this material? Offhand, we can think of at least three groups of people:
1. Office workers who need something amusing to read on their PCs while pretending to be working on the Fassbinder account.
2. People who have an unquenchable thirst for useless knowledge about Dutch sex habits, exploding answering machines, procreating kangaroos, and husbands who divorce their wives for naming the family dog after them.
3. Public speakers and on air talent who need an amusing anecdote with a snappy punch line to jazz up a speech or to illustrate a point. For these folks, we have included a Speaker's Index at the end which will direct you to individual stories that touch on any number of topics.
We're certain there must be many more, but whichever clique you call your own, we are confident you will enjoy this material. We hope you buy it and help us make enough money to buy bird seed for all the poor, homeless parrots we take in off the streets (unless you're one of those deadbeats who got a free copy from a disreputable friend, in which case, go die.)
We also tip our hats to all our radio pals around the world who send us stories and to our sales rep, Mike King.
Finally, we wish to thank all the billions of folks around the world who are working overtime every day, doing dumb things for us to make fun of. We couldn't do it without you! Rest assured, in the more embarrassing stories, such as those relating to crime, the names have been deleted to protect the innocent, as well as the guilty who have good lawyers.
And remember, all the one-liners are just jokes! They are not part of the news story!
WE MADE THEM UP! SO DON'T SUE US!
Pat Reeder & Laura Ainsworth
All material © copyright 2005 by Pat Reeder